Although it's been less than 2 weeks since my post about rehearsing a goal, am now checking in to see how you've been doing with working on your goal.
Have you decided on a goal to rehearse?
Have you broken the goal into 4 weekly milestones?
Do you have an accountability partner to support you with your goal?
Given that it's the holidays, it's understandable that your goal can be loss in the midst of holiday sales or fretting about holiday weight. If you've gotten off track, see how you can get back on track with your goal. Ask yourself why your goal is important to you now.
I'm supporting and cheering for you!
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Make It Specific..aka...China 2013
This post is for those of you who've decided to rehearse a goal this month. Often times when I...I mean... when people set a goal, they're not clear on what their goal is. However, the sad part is they don't realize that their goal is not clear. For instance, a woman may say "I want to learn Chinese." She knows that she wants to visit China in 2013 and figures that learning Chinese would help with her visit. On the surface, this may appear to be a good goal but it needs some clarifying. First, our budding language learner could decide which parts of China she wants to visit and find out which dialect is spoken there. Next, she could determine if she wants to know enough Chinese to travel or if she has a more intense interest in the language. Does she want to read, write and speak in the language? How much time can she spend weekly or daily on learning Chinese?
And that's just with learning a language!
Whether your traveling to China in 2013 or wanting to boost your fitness level, here are some general questions to consider:
How will you know when you've accomplished your goal? (This question is very important.)
What information do you need to reach your goal?
How much time can you devote daily/weekly to your goal?
If it's a material possession, can you describe its features? Do you know how much it costs or where you could get it?
If you want to move or travel somewhere, which places do you wish to visit/live? How much would it cost to live or travel there? ("A lot" : ) is not an answer. It may cost less than you think. Research and determine an estimate.)
Be sure to write down your answer to at least one of the questions related to making your goal more specific. Your answer will help to make your goal more clear and it may even cause you to determine if your goal is still worthwhile.
And that's just with learning a language!
Whether your traveling to China in 2013 or wanting to boost your fitness level, here are some general questions to consider:
How will you know when you've accomplished your goal? (This question is very important.)
What information do you need to reach your goal?
How much time can you devote daily/weekly to your goal?
If it's a material possession, can you describe its features? Do you know how much it costs or where you could get it?
If you want to move or travel somewhere, which places do you wish to visit/live? How much would it cost to live or travel there? ("A lot" : ) is not an answer. It may cost less than you think. Research and determine an estimate.)
Be sure to write down your answer to at least one of the questions related to making your goal more specific. Your answer will help to make your goal more clear and it may even cause you to determine if your goal is still worthwhile.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
A Goal Rehearsal
For readers of my newsletter, you'll already be familiar with the idea of a Goal Rehearsal which is basically doing a test run of your goal before the New Year begins. Most of you all have probably had the experience of deciding on a goal for the New Year, e.g. losing weight, changing jobs, going back to school, and then letting the goal slide under the routine of daily living. By rehearsing your goal now, however, you'll focus on one goal and make weekly make progress toward its achievement.
What are the benefits to rehearsing your goal now?
By rehearsing your goal in December you'll focus on one goal instead of several.
If/when your commit begins to lag, you'll have the New Year to boost your momentum
Since you're rehearsing your goal, there's less pressure if you change your mind about achieving your goal. Yes, that does mean that could make it more likely that you drop your goal yet even if you do, you can renew it in January or decide that now is not the right time for you to work on your goal.
Hopefully, start the New Year on an up note. With your goal accomplished or progressing, you can trust yourself to set and achieve more goals in 2012.
Additional self-awareness. You can review what kept you going or tripped you up in December and plan to do better in 2012.
Have one goal less for the New Year. If you start working on your goal now, then you can possibly have one less resolution to make for next year.
So which will you choose? To take action on your goal now or wait until January?
What are the benefits to rehearsing your goal now?
By rehearsing your goal in December you'll focus on one goal instead of several.
If/when your commit begins to lag, you'll have the New Year to boost your momentum
Since you're rehearsing your goal, there's less pressure if you change your mind about achieving your goal. Yes, that does mean that could make it more likely that you drop your goal yet even if you do, you can renew it in January or decide that now is not the right time for you to work on your goal.
Hopefully, start the New Year on an up note. With your goal accomplished or progressing, you can trust yourself to set and achieve more goals in 2012.
Additional self-awareness. You can review what kept you going or tripped you up in December and plan to do better in 2012.
Have one goal less for the New Year. If you start working on your goal now, then you can possibly have one less resolution to make for next year.
So which will you choose? To take action on your goal now or wait until January?
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Upcoming Changes
Dear Blog Reader,
Thanks for reading this blog. I'll soon be launching a new website by January which I'll be sure to post here. However, with the new site will come a new blog so this will be the last month that I'll be blogging for Optimal Habits. If you're single, then be sure to visit my upcoming site--Don't worry, I won't be doing any matchmaking. : )
Thanks for reading this blog. I'll soon be launching a new website by January which I'll be sure to post here. However, with the new site will come a new blog so this will be the last month that I'll be blogging for Optimal Habits. If you're single, then be sure to visit my upcoming site--Don't worry, I won't be doing any matchmaking. : )
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Questions for WEEK 4
Here are 3+ questions to support you with doing something special for yourself
1. What's something special that you can do for yourself today? What makes this activity special for you?
2. Do you consider your desire for rest, or conversely, fun as important?
3. In the past, what kept you from doing something special for yourself? How will you now override those thoughts?
This is the final week in our series on reducing holiday overwhelm. I hope that this series has been helpful for you. If you have suggestions or questions on this series, feel free to post a comment below.
1. What's something special that you can do for yourself today? What makes this activity special for you?
2. Do you consider your desire for rest, or conversely, fun as important?
3. In the past, what kept you from doing something special for yourself? How will you now override those thoughts?
This is the final week in our series on reducing holiday overwhelm. I hope that this series has been helpful for you. If you have suggestions or questions on this series, feel free to post a comment below.
A Happy Thanksgiving to those in the US!
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
WEEK 4 DO SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR YOURSELF
Do something special: Pay attention to your need for rest or, conversely, excitement. Sleep in, if you wish, or buy yourself tickets to a show that you've been wanting to see.
The saying "'Tis better to give than to receive" can cause one to be burned out and resentful if taken to the extreme. That won't happen to you if you implement this week's strategy. If you need to create time for yourself, review Week 1 and see what you can decline or delegate. Enjoy this week's strategy and continue to do something special for yourself throughout the year!
Are you a coach looking for a supportive community to help you boost your self care? Join my new Meetup group Self Care for Life Coaches.
The saying "'Tis better to give than to receive" can cause one to be burned out and resentful if taken to the extreme. That won't happen to you if you implement this week's strategy. If you need to create time for yourself, review Week 1 and see what you can decline or delegate. Enjoy this week's strategy and continue to do something special for yourself throughout the year!
Are you a coach looking for a supportive community to help you boost your self care? Join my new Meetup group Self Care for Life Coaches.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Questions for WEEK 3
Here are 3+ questions to support you with focusing on what you want:
1. How do you want to feel during the holidays?
2. If you're attending or hosting a holiday dinner, what do you want to experience there?
3. How do you want to feel today? What are 3 thoughts that can support you with that feeling?
1. How do you want to feel during the holidays?
2. If you're attending or hosting a holiday dinner, what do you want to experience there?
3. How do you want to feel today? What are 3 thoughts that can support you with that feeling?
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
WEEK 3 FOCUS ON WHAT YOU WANT
Focus on what you want: Whether it's a fashionable coat, toned triceps or an enjoyable family get-together. Begin to shift your thoughts from what you don't want to what you do want.
You've likely had the experience of attending or hosting a holiday dinner and having a sense of dread about something going wrong. An undesired comment from a family member, a new recipe gone wrong, a holiday 'fit that flops. This week the strategy is to focus on what you want to happen. Imagine having an enjoyable conversation with a family member. Test out the new holiday recipe before experimenting for a holiday meal. Wear a tried-and-true outfit or get feedback from a trusted friend about your holiday attire.
Can this strategy guarantee that everything will turn out as planned? No, however it can support you in getting the outcome that you want. Anyway, it beats the dread that your worries are causing you.
You've likely had the experience of attending or hosting a holiday dinner and having a sense of dread about something going wrong. An undesired comment from a family member, a new recipe gone wrong, a holiday 'fit that flops. This week the strategy is to focus on what you want to happen. Imagine having an enjoyable conversation with a family member. Test out the new holiday recipe before experimenting for a holiday meal. Wear a tried-and-true outfit or get feedback from a trusted friend about your holiday attire.
Can this strategy guarantee that everything will turn out as planned? No, however it can support you in getting the outcome that you want. Anyway, it beats the dread that your worries are causing you.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Checking In
You're now mid-way through the series of post on THE HOLIDAYS. What strategy has been the most effective for you so far? How will the holidays be better this year? Apply the strategy which can best support you for the holidays. Schedule time to review these posts and to implement these strategies. Above all else, take a deep breath and remember that the holidays are meant to be enjoyed!
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Questions for WEEK 2
Here are 3 questions to help you with creating lists for the holidays:
1. Is there a traditional holiday activity that you can create a list for, e.g., mailing holiday cards, hosting a holiday get-together, gift buying?
2. Is there anything on your list that you can delegate?
3. If you're feeling stressed, have you scheduled any calming activities for yourself on your list?
Next week, I'll offer an additional strategy for managing the holidays.
1. Is there a traditional holiday activity that you can create a list for, e.g., mailing holiday cards, hosting a holiday get-together, gift buying?
2. Is there anything on your list that you can delegate?
3. If you're feeling stressed, have you scheduled any calming activities for yourself on your list?
Next week, I'll offer an additional strategy for managing the holidays.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
WEEK 2 MAKE A LIST
MAKE A LIST: Shopping lists, daily lists, packing lists...instead of further taxing your memory, create a list to keep track of your activities, commitments or shopping during the holidays. How much should I elaborate on this? Some people like lists, others don't. If you find that you're forgetting tasks and feeling stressed with too much to do, unburden your mind by making a list. There on paper you can have a clearer idea of what it is that you're doing and you can also see the progress that you've made as you check off gifts purchased or actions completed.
Of course, if you're feeling overwhelmed just by looking at your list, then create a smaller list that feels less overwhelming. Or simply draw a horizontal line between your morning and evening activities. If you're still feeling stressed, refer to WEEK 1. : )
Of course, if you're feeling overwhelmed just by looking at your list, then create a smaller list that feels less overwhelming. Or simply draw a horizontal line between your morning and evening activities. If you're still feeling stressed, refer to WEEK 1. : )
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Questions for WEEK 1
These questions are related to applying this week's strategy to your holiday activities:
1. How would simplifying your activities make the holidays more enjoyable for you?
2. What's one activity you can decline to do this holiday season?
3. Are there any pressures or deadlines which are self-imposed? Can you adjust these deadlines?
4. What's one area of your home that you will declutter? How will decluttering this space make your holidays more calm?
If you wish you can answer all of the questions or one which especially resonates with you. Schedule time in your calendar or post a reminder to yourself to turn your responses into action.
1. How would simplifying your activities make the holidays more enjoyable for you?
2. What's one activity you can decline to do this holiday season?
3. Are there any pressures or deadlines which are self-imposed? Can you adjust these deadlines?
4. What's one area of your home that you will declutter? How will decluttering this space make your holidays more calm?
If you wish you can answer all of the questions or one which especially resonates with you. Schedule time in your calendar or post a reminder to yourself to turn your responses into action.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
THE HOLIDAYS: WEEK 1 SIMPLIFY - Decline, declutter, delegate
Divide each difficulty into as many parts as necessary to resolve it.
Rene Descartes
For November, we're focusing on decreasing overwhelm and increasing joy during the holidays. Here's this week's strategy:
1. SIMPLIFY: Decline, declutter, delegate.
Decline activities/objects that drain your time, energy and money. Prevent clutter from entering your home by not buying or accepting unnecessary items. This may take some practice and grace.
Declutter by removing unneeded objects or tasks from your life. Review your schedule to see if there are activities which can be dropped or tweaked.
Delegate by using technology to shop online, stay in touch, schedule activities, plan gatherings, etc. Ask a friend or family member for help. Delegate non-urgent activities to a future date in your calendar.
When in doubt, take a deep breath and see how you can make your life easier.
Tomorrow I'll post questions related to implementing this strategy.
5 Benefits of Reconnecting
To wrap up last month's series on reconnecting, here's my self-created non-scientific list of the benefits of reconnecting:
1. Having more calm
2. Making better decisions by setting aside time to connect to what you want
3. More awareness and appreciation when eating
4. Experiencing more joy and confidence by doing something that you enjoy
5. Enhancing your relationships by reconnecting with friends and relatives
Hopefully, you'll be inspired to continue with one of last month's suggested methods of reconnecting. For November, we'll focus on managing holiday overwhelm. Every week, I'll post a strategy and some questions related to decreasing overwhelm and increasing calm during the holidays.
1. Having more calm
2. Making better decisions by setting aside time to connect to what you want
3. More awareness and appreciation when eating
4. Experiencing more joy and confidence by doing something that you enjoy
5. Enhancing your relationships by reconnecting with friends and relatives
Hopefully, you'll be inspired to continue with one of last month's suggested methods of reconnecting. For November, we'll focus on managing holiday overwhelm. Every week, I'll post a strategy and some questions related to decreasing overwhelm and increasing calm during the holidays.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Reconnecting Tip 11
Connect with your dreams. Act as if they're true
Alas, we've spent all this time reconnecting: relaxing, finding more calm, reviving past interests and now we're going to be something that we're not? Yep! You may be familiar with acting "as if." Essentially, you act as if you've already achieved whatever your dream is. Given that it's Halloween, I'd figure this would be an appropriate time for us to connect with our dreams...or to even give ourselves permission to dream and in some way embody that. It could be by spending the afternoon feeling that you're rich, drafting a memo to your future assistant or eating a healthy meal because that's how you eat now.
Previous Tips
For tips 1-5, see past postings
Observe nature for 5+ min.
Be "present" for 1 daily activity
Schedule 5 min to relax today
Look at old photos/journals. What did you once enjoy?
Connect with a trusted friend/relative
Alas, we've spent all this time reconnecting: relaxing, finding more calm, reviving past interests and now we're going to be something that we're not? Yep! You may be familiar with acting "as if." Essentially, you act as if you've already achieved whatever your dream is. Given that it's Halloween, I'd figure this would be an appropriate time for us to connect with our dreams...or to even give ourselves permission to dream and in some way embody that. It could be by spending the afternoon feeling that you're rich, drafting a memo to your future assistant or eating a healthy meal because that's how you eat now.
Previous Tips
For tips 1-5, see past postings
Observe nature for 5+ min.
Be "present" for 1 daily activity
Schedule 5 min to relax today
Look at old photos/journals. What did you once enjoy?
Connect with a trusted friend/relative
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Reconnecting Tip 10
Connect with a trusted friend/relative
Here's your chance to call that friend you've been meaning to call or to respond to that neglected e-mail. As an alternative, you can write about what you appreciate about your friendships or what you'd like to experience in your friendships. Hopefully, you're strengthening your connection to yourself which is making it easier for you to be clear on the kind of friendships that you desire.
And hey, we're almost at the end! Feel free to post a comment about your experience.
Previous Tips
For tips 1-5, see past postingsObserve nature for 5+ min.
Be "present" for 1 daily activity
Schedule 5 min to relax today
Look at old photos/journals. What did you once enjoy?
Here's your chance to call that friend you've been meaning to call or to respond to that neglected e-mail. As an alternative, you can write about what you appreciate about your friendships or what you'd like to experience in your friendships. Hopefully, you're strengthening your connection to yourself which is making it easier for you to be clear on the kind of friendships that you desire.
And hey, we're almost at the end! Feel free to post a comment about your experience.
Previous Tips
For tips 1-5, see past postingsObserve nature for 5+ min.
Be "present" for 1 daily activity
Schedule 5 min to relax today
Look at old photos/journals. What did you once enjoy?
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Reconnecting Tip 9
Look at old photos/journals. What did you once enjoy?
Smoothies...About a month ago, I had the chance to reconnect with my joy of making smoothies. Smoothies with blueberries, raspberries, peaches, mangoes, strawberries, spinach, grated garlic...lots of possibilities.While I'm definitely not proclaiming to be a cook. It was fun to make something nutritious and tasty. Your joy may not be smoothies but perhaps a musical instrument, fitness activity or a particular restaurant once brought you joy. How can you reconnect with that experience?
Previous Tips
For tips 1-5, see past postings
Observe nature for 5+ min.
Be "present" for 1 daily activity
Schedule 5 min to relax today
Look at old photos/journals. What did you once enjoy?
Smoothies...About a month ago, I had the chance to reconnect with my joy of making smoothies. Smoothies with blueberries, raspberries, peaches, mangoes, strawberries, spinach, grated garlic...lots of possibilities.While I'm definitely not proclaiming to be a cook. It was fun to make something nutritious and tasty. Your joy may not be smoothies but perhaps a musical instrument, fitness activity or a particular restaurant once brought you joy. How can you reconnect with that experience?
Previous Tips
For tips 1-5, see past postings
Observe nature for 5+ min.
Be "present" for 1 daily activity
Schedule 5 min to relax today
Look at old photos/journals. What did you once enjoy?
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Reconnecting Tip 8
Schedule 5 min to relax today
If in spite of your best efforts, your precious "me" time is fast decreasing, make it a priority to spend at least 5 minutes relaxing. Give your mind and body a chance to unwind.
Previous Tips
For tips 1-5, see past postings
Observe nature for 5+ min.
Be "present" for 1 daily activity
If in spite of your best efforts, your precious "me" time is fast decreasing, make it a priority to spend at least 5 minutes relaxing. Give your mind and body a chance to unwind.
Previous Tips
For tips 1-5, see past postings
Observe nature for 5+ min.
Be "present" for 1 daily activity
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Reconnecting Tip 7
Be "present" for 1 daily activity
Choose one daily routine activity and be aware of your motions. The muscles in your arms that causes your arms to move or the movement of your eye muscles Appreciate what your body can do for you.
Previous Tips
For tips 1-5, see past postings
Observe nature for 5+ min.
Choose one daily routine activity and be aware of your motions. The muscles in your arms that causes your arms to move or the movement of your eye muscles Appreciate what your body can do for you.
Previous Tips
For tips 1-5, see past postings
Observe nature for 5+ min.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Reconnecting Tip 6
Observe nature for 5+ min. Have a great day!
Whatever glimpse of nature is around you, take a moment to appreciate it. Notice the different colors of the leaves, the sounds of the birds or the faces or people around you. I admit that I can be caught in the hurly-burly of checking my phone and dashing on errands so this is a good reminder for me to reconnect with nature.
Previous Tips
For tips 1-5, see past postings
Whatever glimpse of nature is around you, take a moment to appreciate it. Notice the different colors of the leaves, the sounds of the birds or the faces or people around you. I admit that I can be caught in the hurly-burly of checking my phone and dashing on errands so this is a good reminder for me to reconnect with nature.
Previous Tips
For tips 1-5, see past postings
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Reconnecting...Check In
Congrats for making it this far! There are still 6 tips left and soon we'll be on the brink of the holiday season. Do what you can for this week. The upcoming tips will focus on reconnecting with our past interests, old friends and relaxation. If there's one tip in particular that resonates with you, feel free to continue it.
Tips 1 -5
Notice what stresses you
Spend 5 min in silence
Practice deep breathing for 3 min
Eat dinner slowly
Observe your home environment. Does it reflect who you are?
Tips 1 -5
Notice what stresses you
Spend 5 min in silence
Practice deep breathing for 3 min
Eat dinner slowly
Observe your home environment. Does it reflect who you are?
Reconnecting Tip 5
Observe your home environment. Does it reflect who you are?
"Rome was not built in a day" so you don't have to do a complete upheaval of your environment but are there small changes that you can make so that it supports you and your goals now. If you made a list from Day 1, are there any environmental changes you can make to decrease your stress, e.g., add flowers, fix a leaky faucet, throw out the poato chips?
Previous Tips
Notice what stresses you
Spend 5 min in silence
Practice deep breathing for 3 min
Eat dinner slowly
"Rome was not built in a day" so you don't have to do a complete upheaval of your environment but are there small changes that you can make so that it supports you and your goals now. If you made a list from Day 1, are there any environmental changes you can make to decrease your stress, e.g., add flowers, fix a leaky faucet, throw out the poato chips?
Previous Tips
Notice what stresses you
Spend 5 min in silence
Practice deep breathing for 3 min
Eat dinner slowly
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Reconnecting Tip 4
Eat dinner slowly
Engage your senses when eating. Be aware and appreciative of your food. This will also be a great tip for me to implement myself. : )
If you wish, you can take 3 deep breaths before beginning your meal.
Previous Tips
Notice what stresses you
Spend 5 min in silence
Practice deep breathing for 3 min
Engage your senses when eating. Be aware and appreciative of your food. This will also be a great tip for me to implement myself. : )
If you wish, you can take 3 deep breaths before beginning your meal.
Previous Tips
Notice what stresses you
Spend 5 min in silence
Practice deep breathing for 3 min
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Reconnecting Tip 3
Practice deep breathing for 3 min
If you already managed to spend 5 minutes in silence yesterday, then this help to strengthen your sense of calm. As long as your health permits, you can practice deep breathing by breathing in deeply for a count of 8, holding for 8, and then exhaling for a counting of 8. Additionally, if you catch yourself feeling stressed, you can slow down your breathing to feel more calm.
Previous Tips
Notice what stresses you
Spend 5 min in silence
If you already managed to spend 5 minutes in silence yesterday, then this help to strengthen your sense of calm. As long as your health permits, you can practice deep breathing by breathing in deeply for a count of 8, holding for 8, and then exhaling for a counting of 8. Additionally, if you catch yourself feeling stressed, you can slow down your breathing to feel more calm.
Previous Tips
Notice what stresses you
Spend 5 min in silence
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Reconnecting Tip 2
Spend 5 min in silence
Yes, you can sit out in nature if you wish or simply turn off the "noise" for 5 minutes. If 5 minutes, seem to strenuous then try 2 minutes or 30 seconds. The purpose of this is to reconnect with your mind and body.
Previous Tip
Notice what stresses you
Yes, you can sit out in nature if you wish or simply turn off the "noise" for 5 minutes. If 5 minutes, seem to strenuous then try 2 minutes or 30 seconds. The purpose of this is to reconnect with your mind and body.
Previous Tip
Notice what stresses you
Monday, October 17, 2011
Reconnecting Tip 1
Notice what stresses you
This exercise is to help us in developing our awareness of what annoys, frustrates or somehow zaps us. If you wish, you can list what annoys you and gradually work on reducing the annoyances.
This exercise is to help us in developing our awareness of what annoys, frustrates or somehow zaps us. If you wish, you can list what annoys you and gradually work on reducing the annoyances.
Reconnecting
For this week, the focus is on reconnecting with ourselves. We'll work on doing this by slowing down--whether it's when preparing a meal, heading to work or when answering an e-mail. Slower can be better. We'll also increase our awareness of our environment to see what stresses us and to notice what's around us in the natural world.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Why Another Blog?
I've started this blog to have more focused postings related to coaching.. My first blog Coach in Training features writing on personal development, health and my "learning" expriences and the occasional themed week or month.
Welcome to My Newest Blog! : )
Welcome to My Newest Blog! : )
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